


Chasing Pavements

by shrodingers



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Classical Music References, Gen, Slight Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Vanya needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-07 13:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrodingers/pseuds/shrodingers
Summary: Vanya stared at her reflection once more. Maybe, for once, she would be special in someone's eyes.Or, in which Vanya attempts to prove herself to the world.





	Chasing Pavements

Vanya knew perfectly well that she was ordinary, thank you very much.

She didn't need Father to remind her of her particularly mundane existence, nor did she need her siblings to prod and belittle her constantly. What she really needed was a nod of approval, but they wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

String theory stated that the particles in the universe compromised of strings: with each pluck, they would produce a microscopic symphony. At least, that was what Five had told her. She liked to believe that everything in the universe was made up of vibrations, as it made her feel something for a fleeting moment.

Glancing at the morning paper, she downed the last few drops of her coffee before heading to the bathroom one last time. Glancing at her disheveled appearance, she felt Allison's glare of disapproval boring into her skull. Taking in her eyebags, barely-brushed hair, and her permanent frown set from years of neglect, one might say she looked like a mess.

"You have no idea." she said to no one in particular. Swallowing her pills, she gagged as they glided down her throat effortlessly. Perhaps that could be her power, she thought weakly. Klaus would definitely want to see that. 

She packed up her violin case, just in case her siblings were planning to stay the whole day. After all, the concert recital was coming up, and she was more than determined to be first chair this time. Helen Cho would be more than happy to not be in first chair for the fifth time this season. 

Sighing for what seemed to be the sixth time this morning, she brought her violin case and a bunch of flowers she picked up at the florist along the way. Seeing an all too familiar building in the distance, she glanced up at the harsh gates that terrified her when she was a child. 

"Let's hope this doesn't become a disaster like the others." she muttered mournfully. (Her hopes were dashed five hours later. Vanya considered this an improvement.)

!! 

"You should lock your front door." 

She jumped, clearly startled. "Jesus, Five! You can't just barge in whenever you please. What if you were a rapist or something?" 

Five maintained a neutral expression. "You live on the second floor." 

"Rapists can climb." 

Clearly disturbed by her statement, he settled into his seat, clutching the handles as though his life depended on it. Vanya shrugged it off, thinking it was all that time spent in the future. 

"Did you know that I made peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches every evening?" Five shook his head at her question. "And that I turned on the hallway lights so that you didn't stumble when you got home?" There was no reply, so she continued. 

"I waited for you, Five! I waited for you to come back so we could leave together! You promised that you would find your way back home, and you broke that promise! Now you have the audacity to barge into my fucking house and act as if we're normal, but it sure as hell isn't." 

Five flinched. Was he crying, or was it a trick of the light? She felt rather guilty over her outburst, she didn't mean to upset him greatly. However, all Five did was rub his eyes before he spoke. 

"Do you know what I saw when I was in the future?" 

She shook her head. All he mentioned at the funeral was that it was shit. His reaction said it was more than that. 

"Nothing, absolutely nothing. I found all of your bodies, except yours and Ben's and-" his voice trailed off, and he simply broke down. 

Vanya's shocked expression said it all, really. Here was an arrogant boy whose ego preceded his intellect, now reduced to a weeping mess. Time travel must have really messed with his head. So she did what anyone would have done in her place. Gingerly setting down her violin case, she held her arms wide open. Five obediently shuffled forward. They laid like that until the first rays of sun shone into her apartment.

!! 

𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘛𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘷𝘴𝘬𝘺'𝘴 𝘝𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘋 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘳. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦. 

"𝘞𝘰𝘸, 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨." 

𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥. "𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦! 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳!" 

"𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧𝘧, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘚𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺, 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢, 𝘸𝘦'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴." 

"𝘛𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳," 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. "𝘏𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘰 𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴." 

𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥. "𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢?" 

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵, 𝘺𝘦𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘺?" 

"𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭," 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥, 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧. "𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴." 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘱: 𝘥2𝘺/𝘥𝘵2= 𝘝2 𝘥2𝘺/𝘥𝘹2. 

"𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘝, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥," 𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵: 𝘚𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨=−1/ℓ2𝘴∫𝘥2𝘹√𝘥𝘦𝘵(𝘨μν∂𝘢𝘟μ∂𝘣𝘟𝘷). 

"𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 ℓ𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 9.98 𝘮/𝘴2, 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴.𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘏𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴: 𝘮2=1/ℓ2𝘴(𝘕−1) , 𝘕= 0,1,2,3,4 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩."

"𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦?" 

"𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘮 𝘮𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘪𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴." 

"𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦?" 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢, 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴. 

"𝘕𝘰," 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘭𝘺. 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘬. 

"𝘕𝘰, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘔𝘰𝘮. 𝘕𝘰, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥." 

𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦. "𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴, 𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘰. 𝘈𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴." 

𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴. "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘉𝘦𝘯, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳." 

𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰. 𝘗𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 

!! 

"Okay, Rachel. Remember to play the cadenza more freely, and don't forget to use pizzicato in bars 32 to 36." said Vanya in an alacritous tone. Rachel nodded wordlessly, signing in thanks. 

Putting her violin away, she heard a knock on her door. Maybe it was Mrs. Kowalski complaining about her missing cat again. Or Five, wanting to spend more time with her. Or it could be the sweet and charming boy she's been seeing lately. Leonard, was it? He'd shown more compassion towards her in a few days than what her family hasn't done in years. Glancing at the clock, she swallowed her medication, stamping her muffled cries of worthlessness. 

"Vanya? You in there?" 

Allison was in the doorway, looking beautiful as ever. She always commented that she looked different from what the tabloids perceive her as. Not that her opinion mattered. 

"What do you want, Allison?" she croaked out. She needed more sleep. 

"Luther's arranged a meeting and wants you to be there." said Allison matter-of-factly. 

"Is it Luther that wants me there, or is it just you? You guys made it very clear that you don't want me around at Dad's funeral." muttered Vanya, hoping that her sister didn't pick that up. From her hurt expression, she did.

"I know that we messed up, and we want to redeem it. Redeem our relationship. But that can't start if you won't want to help." 

"Redeem our relationship? That was broken all those years ago, so there's nothing to redeem. You may show some care, but I bet the others don't. Hell, I don't even think they know I live here!" 

"I do," Allison mumbled. Vanya looked up. "When I landed my first big break, I came back to celebrate. I looked for your apartment, but for some odd reason, I couldn't bring myself to knock. Some shitty sister I am, huh?" 

If someone had photographed her in that very moment, her face would read as shocked and of disbelief. Her siblings kept surprising her, didn't they? Swallowing a lump in her throat, she opened her mouth to speak, but the insistent rapping on her door brought to her attention. 

"Vanya, hey! Ready for that lunch date? You promised," said Leonard in a sing-song voice. "Grab your coat, we'll be leaving in five minutes." 

"I don't-" 

"Vanya, just think about it, okay?" asked Allison, her tone urgent. 

The noise was too much for her. She tried to concentrate on Bach's Chaconne but failed. It was too much, too much, too much- 

"I'm going with Leonard. I'll see you tonight, Allison." she smiled wryly. (The defeat on Allison's face haunted her that night.) 

!! 

Vanya had often considered herself a hermeneutical person - one who analyzed people in both verbal and non-verbal patterns. For example, she could see the defeat in Klaus' eyes whenever the others would accuse him of being an attention-seeking junkie. She observed Luther's weariness from the constant pressure of leadership. And sometimes, she would see Mom's faltering smiles when she provided her anxiety medication. She witnessed things that her family attempted to gloss over, but she saw through their facade. She used to think that could be her power, observing others, but she stopped thinking that ever since she released that book. 

There was an old Russian saying that went along the lines of Пан или пропа́л, which meant to be a master or to be gone. This can very well be applied for her situation, she chuckled awkwardly. Counting the number of trees present, she concentrated on the sound."𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘺, 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢," she muttered out of Leonard's earshot. "𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮." 

The music grew to a crescendo, and then she opened her eyes. 

!! 

"You knew!" 

"No, Vanya, I didn't-" 

"You what, Allison? You didn't know any better? All of you knew I had powers, but you cast me aside anyway! You were jealous of the fact that I'm more powerful than you and you couldn't handle it!" 

"Vanya, that's not true, I-" 

"Enough!" she held out a hand. The house began to shake alongside her. "Do you feel that?" she asked, her voice now murmurous. "Do you see my potential?" she felt the smile in her voice.

Allison looked around, fear etched on her face. "Come on, Vanya. We have to go." 

"No." 

Allison gulped, tears welling in her eyes. "Please don't make me do this. I heard a rumor-" 

What happened after that was a blur. She was screaming, wishing that Five were here so that he could undo what she just did. Allison was hemorrhaging and all Vanya could hear were the choking noises she made. Leonard arrived soon after and told her to leave immediately. She shouted at him too, telling him that she wanted to be at her sister's side, but he told her that her life would be at stake. Hurrying her into his car, they both drove off. (That night, both parties could not sleep for very different reasons.) 

!! 

The first thing she noticed was that she was in a room. 

Not just any old room, it was the same one that Father locked her in when she was four. 

Screaming, she pounded on the doors, begging for Five, Klaus, Allison, somebody to let her out. "𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰!" she cried out, but not even her sound manipulation could aid her.

She heard muffled voices on the other side and saw Diego and Klaus gesturing to her, mumbling in tones that she couldn't comprehend. Allison was present too, and she sobbed in relief. "𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦!" she shouted, doubting that she would hear her. Slowly signing out for the rest of them, she prayed that they would understand. 

"Vanya says she's sorry, alright, now let her out Luther!" said Diego angrily. 

"How the hell would you know that? She hurt Allison, so what makes you think that the rest of the world is safe from her?" 

"Whatever guys, I'm getting her out of that shitshow." Trying to open the door, Luther shoved him back with full force. Seeing her brother slumped against the wall, she pounded the doors harder.

Diego and Allison attempted next, but Luther blocked the door with his body, not permitting them to pass. Sighing in defeat, they both left. 

Heartbroken, she felt the symphonies again, rising in tempo under her skin. "𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦, 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘢. 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦." Listening to her heartbeat, she burst open the door.

!! 

Her siblings were all here. Five, darting in and out in flashes of blue light. Diego, curving knives at the very last second. Allison, who had observed her a few rows down and nodded in appraisal. (She smiled back.) Luther, using his gargantuan body to fight the masked men off. Klaus, who hid behind a seat while bodies were soaring everywhere. And Ben, tentacles tearing limbs off. The thought made her giddy. 

Seeing Luther, Diego, and Five out of the corner of her eye, she felt furious. Just when she was getting the attention for once, they wanted it back. Feeling the violin being wrenched from her grasp, she thought of Beethoven's Concerto in D major. Suddenly, the flash of glaring white light blinded her vision. 

Her baneful thoughts were brought to the surface as she watched as their lifeforms slowly ebbed away. Her consciousness screamed at her to stop it, that they were her brothers, but that was silenced as quickly as it was permitted. They watched her suffer, and now they shall pay the price. 

Hearing the gunshot that followed suit, she gasped. Feeling her powers fade, her symphonies failed alongside her as everything faded to coda. 

!! 

Ears ringing, she opened her eyes. "Am I in limbo? Is this what the afterlife looks like?" she muttered softly, holding her head. Wait, why was her hair in bangs? She cut her hair when she was 16. Pinching her cheek, it felt too soft for her liking. Inching closer to the mirror, she feared what she would see in front of it. Staring back at her was a 13-year-old girl who looked exactly like her. Scratch that, it was her. Thinking logically, she did what anyone would have done if they were in her situation. She screamed.

!! 

"Vanya!" 

"Vanya, calm down!" 

"Holy shit, the whole room is shaking!" 

Everyone's voices were overlapping to the point that she couldn't tell whose voices she was hearing. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop- 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do all of that. I just want to be ordinary again," looking pleadingly at Allison, she added, "Please just rumor me again." 

To the shock and disbelief of the others, Allison sat next to her on the bed. "No. No more running away, no more getting rid of things. If we want to solve our problems, we have to face them, which means that we help control your powers." 

Vanya quashed a smile, leaning on her shoulder. "Thank you." she sniffled. 

"Is it just me, or that the girls get the cool powers? I mean, seriously? Sound manipulation? Reality-bending? We got the short end of the stick, huh, boys?" Klaus chuckled. 

"Excuse you," Five snapped. "But that statement should be intended for the rest of you lot. Ben and I have brilliant powers, thank you very much." 

"Um, I'm sure that I-I have the cool p-p-powers! Luther has the l-lamest ones, t-t-t-though." said a frustrated Diego, who was trying and failing to hide a smile. 

As they all laughed, Vanya secretly hoped that it would remain like this. She then erased that thought from her mind, because they weren't going to be just the Umbrella Academy. They were going to be a family, and Vanya was finally going to be a part of it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Vanya deserves all the love she gets man come at me


End file.
